Wednesday, September 7, 2011

And Let the Campaigning Begin!

Wow, so the first campaign totally snuck up me! I almost missed it! For more info, go here, but basically I need to write a short story/ flash fiction with the beginning words " The door swung open" ( and ending with "The door swung shut" for more of a challenge), all in 200 words or less.

 Bring it on.


 The door swung open. As I walked down the court room aisle, I closed my eyes, trying to focus on my breathing, and not about how what I was going to do would change my life.


And Kyle's.


I squeezed my eyes tighter, attempting to stop the new tears from flowing down my cheeks. Barely two feet into the room and already I was crying; I needed to stop thinking about Kyle. Except how could I? How could I forget how easily he had manipulated me? How could I forget his face as he shot that innocent man?


How could I forget how much I had loved him?


It didn't matter, I reminded myself. This was something I had to do. Besides, I wasn't the first girl he had lied to and used. He deserved this... didn't he? 


I choked back a sob. Too bad knowing what's right didn't make it easier.


As I sat down, I forced my eyes open and tried looking brave. The door opened again as the judge entered. I stood up with the others, my eyes never leaving the door, knowing that when it closed, there would be no going back.


The door swung shut.




Well, there it is! Exactly 200 words even! Does it make sense? Sound good? Tell me what you think!

Also, you can vote for me here. I'm number 278. Thanks! :D
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30 comments:

  1. Erin L. SchneiderSeptember 7, 2011 at 6:08 PM

    Great story telling in just 200 words - fab job, Rachel!

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  2. Rachel BeanSeptember 7, 2011 at 6:18 PM

    Thanks! :D

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  3. Michelle MerrillSeptember 7, 2011 at 7:04 PM

    Sounds awesome! I loved it. The tension, the mystery, the hidden details. Good job.

    By the way, how can I get a hold of you. I want to interview you on my bloggy blog :)

    Here's my email.

    michelle m merrill (at) hotmail (dot) com

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  4. Cortney PearsonSeptember 7, 2011 at 8:15 PM

    It sounded great! I definitely sympathized with her! Very tough subject to tackle in 200 words, but you did it! And thanks for the awards! :D

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  5. JenSeptember 7, 2011 at 10:02 PM

    This is a great job, Rachel! You've got good conflict, backstory, and a broken love story, all in 200 words!

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  6. Sarah TokeleySeptember 8, 2011 at 1:00 AM

    Interesting, makes me want to know more :-)

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  7. Jocelyn RishSeptember 8, 2011 at 1:07 AM

    I love seeing all the different stories that have sprung from four simple words. This one was a very emotional, contemporary piece. I love how the protagonist still struggled with testifying, even though she knew Kyle was guilty and had lied to other girls - very realistic.

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  8. Rachel BeanSeptember 8, 2011 at 3:28 AM

    Wow, thanks for all the comments! :D

    And Michelle, Really?!?! Thank you!! I'll email you about it :)

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  9. Francesca ZappiaSeptember 8, 2011 at 6:01 AM

    Nice! I really like this--I can feel the MC's conflict. Great job!

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  10. lindySeptember 8, 2011 at 6:32 AM

    Great job! I could really empathize with your MC, and enjoyed the increasing tension throughout.

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  11. Lori M. LeeSeptember 8, 2011 at 6:38 AM

    Great sense of conflict, both emotional and external, in just 200 words!

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  12. AnonymousSeptember 8, 2011 at 7:06 AM

    Great story! I'm dying to know what happens next.

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  13. Patricia T.September 8, 2011 at 7:21 AM

    Really enjoyed the tension in the story. It makes me want to know what happens next. Great entry.

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  14. David P. KingSeptember 8, 2011 at 7:24 AM

    You used a great emotional line-up. Subtle tension that kept growing into something much bigger. Finely executed, Rachel! :)

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  15. Jill CampbellSeptember 8, 2011 at 7:49 AM

    Rachel, great job. Yes, I got it. Yes I was sucked in and I'm feeling pretty mad at Kyle right now.

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  16. Super Happy JenSeptember 8, 2011 at 12:03 PM

    Awesome. I love that you start out thinking romance, or break-up, and then get to he killed a guy and you're all like Whaaa! Cool!

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  17. Rachel BeanSeptember 8, 2011 at 12:19 PM

    Wow, thanks for all of the comments! I was a little nervous when I saw how good every one else's postings were (me being a rookie and all), so thanks so much for all the encouragement!! :D

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  18. prerna pickettSeptember 8, 2011 at 12:32 PM

    great POV, now I have to know Kyle's fate.

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  19. Carrie ButlerSeptember 8, 2011 at 2:08 PM

    At the end, I was like, "Dun, dun, dunnnn!" :D Great work!

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  20. SylviaSeptember 8, 2011 at 2:10 PM

    I really empathized with your POV character. The heartbreak of a love gone wrong was very powerful.
    The story itself feels like the middle of something bigger. I'd love to know more about the relationship, and what she does next - there could be an unexpected twist.

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  21. UnknownSeptember 8, 2011 at 5:03 PM

    Great job! Tightly written with enough intriguing backstory to make me wonder what's really going on here.

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  22. AnonymousSeptember 8, 2011 at 5:58 PM

    I want to know what he did, and why he shot someone. nice job, mine is #72

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  23. AnonymousSeptember 9, 2011 at 5:36 AM

    Whoops, here I thought I'd commented already. Good job, Rach - I'm totally dying to know what happened before the courtroom scene and whether he's going to get what's coming to him. :-D

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  24. UnknownSeptember 9, 2011 at 2:09 PM

    So poignant! Well done. Had to push your follow button. Always wanted to be someone's minion ^_^

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  25. Rachel BeanSeptember 9, 2011 at 5:13 PM

    @angelina: haha, thanks for supporting the cause ;)

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  26. Christine TylerSeptember 10, 2011 at 4:47 PM

    Awesome idea, Rachel! This is a great entry. I love how cozy we get inside your MCs head. Great inner dialogue.

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  27. Claire HennessySeptember 12, 2011 at 3:42 PM

    Gosh, another completely different take from the same opening line. I love how you get so much story into this and I really like courtroom dramas.

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  28. F.E. SewellSeptember 13, 2011 at 8:16 PM

    Great job, rachel! The MC's inner conflict was so human and real! It really made me feel for her and root for her at the same time!

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  29. Jessica TherrienSeptember 14, 2011 at 8:14 AM

    Hey! I've listed you a the recipient of the Versatile Blogger award and the Liebster award...I know you already received at least one of them, but your blog is great. You deserve it again! Details here: http://jessica-therrien.blogspot.com/2011/09/im-feeling-love.html

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  30. Amanda MilnerSeptember 15, 2011 at 1:41 PM

    Wow, great internal conflict going on here! I almost felt the anxiety your MC was going through. Nicely done!:)

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