Saturday, October 1, 2011

Second Campaigner Challenge! Woot-woot!

Took me awhile, but I've finally some up with an entry to the second of Rachael Harrie's Campaigner Challenges! This one was definitely harder than the first, but I think I managed :)

I had to use the words lacuna, oscitate (which, according to Word and Blogspot, is not a word), synchronicity, and miasma, ( plus imago in the title).

And for even more fun, I had to reference a mirror, and keep it at exactly 200 words! AND, I wrote it in second person, a personal first. So, without further ado, here you go :)


Everlasting Imago


The room smells like cigar smoke. I hated the miasmas from your cigars while I was here. I miss them now.

Those months with you had been the happiest of my life, but they hadn’t meant much to you, had they? You were just waiting for the day when I was gone, and it would be yours.

That day apparently hadn’t come soon enough. Still now I wonder how I hadn’t seen it coming. Shouldn’t I have doubted the synchronicity of it all? From our random meetings, to how perfect you seemed to me? But I hadn’t. That was the point.

Your oscitation as you wake brings me back to the present.  I follow you to the bathroom, closing the gap between us, but you’re just as unreachable as ever.  I was prepared for your oblivion of my presence, yet still I long to reach for you, to call your name. But the dead cannot talk to the living.

As you brush your teeth only your reflection appears in the mirror, a testament of the lacuna between us. Now it is my turn to wait. To wait until the day you join me, and we can be together again. Forever.

...........

Well, what do you think? Stop be here to vote, I'm number 181. Thanks :)

25 comments:

  1. I love a good ghost story, well done!

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  2. Poor ghost. I don't fancy the former lover's chances when s/he finally dies and meets that vengeful spirit :-)

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  3. How sad, but very well written!
    My entry is just the one before you :)

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  4. This is so bittersweet. I love ghost stories :) Excellent take on the challenge.

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  5. Very nice, you had me thinking he was the one, and then it was you! Love it! ; )

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  6. Wow, I didn't expect her to be a ghost. Nice job!

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  7. Wow... loved this! The ending was a surprise and it made me want to go back to reread the whole piece. Fabulous job!

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  8. Ghost stories are awesome! I really liked this - though if this guy's (yes I am assuming it's a guy) not as upset as he should be, maybe he needs a good haunting. hehe

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  9. I love ghost stories! This is a great piece, Rachel!
    Mine is #3.

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  10. Brave you, writing in second person. I don't think I have ever done that either. It worked though and good for you for doing it. I enjoyed contemplating what had gone on between them, the unusual perspective of the ghost and the spookiness of the mirror. Good job. (Unless I misunderstood something, should you, in the first line be 'your'?)

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  11. Creeeepy! Good job! And second person? Awesome!

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  12. thanks everyone!

    and whoops! thanks for letting me know about that mistake S P Mount :)

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  13. Ooo, I like this, Rachel! Heading on over to vote for you! :)

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  14. Well done, Rachel! Very nice twist at the end there. I enjoyed this :)

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  15. A poignant ghost story written in the second person complete with an odd collection of words PLUS a great writing voice !! I love it ! A very brave attempt ! I think you've aced this challenge !
    My entry at no.#185

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  16. Oh I love the ending. Gave me a little chill. Forever :D
    Great attempt at the challenge. Well done.

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  17. Great! Good choice for October with Halloween coming up.

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  18. That was excellent!

    You're totally speaking my language here. Very engaging without being creepy.

    Great job, Rachel! :)

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  19. Love the fact that you wrote in 2nd person. And it's a ghost story so I automatically love it even more. :)

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  20. Real surprise ending, Rachell. Nice!

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  21. Whoop-whoop. Here come Halloween and perfect time. Very good story.

    Excellent writing.

    #188

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  22. Great job! Reminded me of "Wuthering Heights":)

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  23. Hi again Rachel! There is an award for you over on my blog.

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  24. Spooky and sad! Well done. I can't link direct to my story post in my signature on your blog so here is the url so you can go direct to it if you wish: http://djkirkby.co.uk/2011/09/imago-dragonflies/

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  25. Forever...

    =) I'm super late to the party because I didn't participate this time, but I enjoyed your entry. Haunting.

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